Wildlife And Darts

Wildlife And Darts.

Everybody is always on about the environment, nature and looking after the wildlife around the country so I thought it was about time to do a darts article that involved some of the animals seen in England.

Playing in different leagues as I do I often travel to all sorts of venues for matches and one such recent game was played at a club with its own gate-keeper security. As the club has many acres of grounds round it, it’s a haven for all sorts of wildlife including ever resourceful foxes which have realised that if they approach the guards at the gate they will get fed with titbits from the guards lunchboxes. The club itself is built on the banks of a large lake.

We played our match in the clubhouse particularly early in the evening because it was a re-arranged game that could only be played on that night before a second match later on in the evening. It was quite warm so the doors were open and some of the players were strolling round the grassy area by the lake watching the ducks and geese on the water. Many years ago the geese were causing a nuisance with their vast numbers. Everywhere was covered in the rather large droppings that the hundreds of birds produced. In fact the geese, were such a nuisance to the golfers on the private course in the grounds, that, the golfers used to go round the nests and smash the eggs in an attempt to reduce their numbers.

While watching the few birds that remained the other night I recalled an evening some years ago on another visit to the club for a game of darts with some friends. It was the first time one of the group had been to this club and he had a reputation for shooting and eating the local wildlife. As I have said there were hundreds of geese present then. My friend asked if they would miss one of the geese because he fancied one for Christmas. He was told they were a pest and to help himself. He did and grabbed one that ventured to near looking for handouts. He rung its neck, or so he thought and put it in the boot of the car. The ladies in the party were not told of his actions, but they found out on the way home. As they were driving along there was a sudden banging noise and a commotion started in the boot that was followed by honking and an assortment of other noises all from within the car. The ladies panicked and were not reassured when they were told that there was a live goose in the boot! Geese have a rather flexible neck and my friend had tried to wring it’s neck but had only stunned it and not actually killed it! Needless to say it did end up on the dinner table.

Anyway, back to our recent match the other night. As I said some of the players were staring out to the lake speculating on the fish stocks in it. The lake obviously had quite a stock because we could see a large fountain of the sort that are used to aerate waters that contain fish. One of the players informed us that they were all “tiddlers” in the lake as it had just been stocked with young trout. “There are no old trout in there,” he said.

My quick reply, which was, “There are plenty of old trout in the club tonight,” did not go down too well with the spectators.

After we had won our match, with an unexpected struggle, as they were second from bottom and we were second from top in the league, we all piled into the cars and headed back out of the grounds. On the way out rabbits were running everywhere across the private roads. One of the ladies exclaimed, “Be careful, watch out, make sure you don’t hit one of the little bunnies.”
Back came the inevitable reply, “Don’t worry there’s no chance of him hitting a rabbit, he’s hit nothing all night!”