|
(RUDE Not Under
18's) |
WEIRD, STRANGE & silly
|
||||||||||||||
|
Here are some true snippets from the newspapers;-
A woman air traveler tried to smuggle a 2lb bag of cocaine glued to her head under a rather full wig. The British woman had to be taken to a hospital in Norway after being seized, to have the bag/glue removed as it was so firmly attached.
One shopping centre has installed a system for tracking nearly every customer from the moment that they walk into the centre to the moment that they leave. The Portsmouth centre said that they had installed the system experimentally to see which toilets were best serving their customers needs and how long shoppers spent at various places around the centre. They are tracking the customers using tiny receivers dotted round the centre that pick up and register the signals from all active mobile phones.
A tiny picture claimed by the owner to be a Rembrandt that had no authentication was sold by auctioneers last year with a guide price of only £1,500, but eventually went for £2 million after the instinct of some bidders concerning its genuineness drove up the price. The buyers high price has now been justified, because the picture has been authenticated by a specialist who values it at up to 10 times the £2 million paid for it.
One fruit farmer said that he has been driven out of business by greedy pickers that were going to his farm simply to eat the fruit with little or no intention of paying for it. He knew that some fruit loss was inevitable with P.Y.O. strawberry farming, but after 50 years in the business he was giving up. Since the Heyday in the 1980's things had got worse, with peoples attitudes changing, becoming less respectful and greedier. He normally expected to lose about 1/4 of his crop through people eating it without paying, but some were going to extremes with one family sitting down in the middle of the field, getting out bowls, filling them with strawberries and pouring a jug of cream over them to eat.
Contact lenses are not worn at night in bed for various safety reasons, but now a new type of lens has been developed that can and actually reshapes the curvature of the cornea. The hard lenses are made from a special type of plastic that is gas permeable and applies a gentle pressure on the cornea while the wearer sleeps. The next morning the lenses are removed and the reshaping of the cornea lasts several hours giving near perfect vision until the cornea springs back to its normal shape. Worn regularly at night, the effects become longer lasting and the patient can, if needs be, skip odd nights and still retain the benefits. The idea is not new and is believed to have been known about by the ancient Chinese civilisations who put weights on the eyes while they slept to correct vision, but new technology has vastly improved its effectiveness.
A driver, who has owned a car for 45 years that was already 24 years old when he bought it, says that although the car is still as good as the day he bought it, HE is now to old to drive it. The 1939 Hillman has only done 300,000 miles and will amble along at 55 miles per hour all day, but is a little heavy on the petrol getting only 18 miles to the gallon. Failing health for its 86 year old owner is forcing him to sell it. He paid £12. 10/- for it in 1963.
A 41 year old Los Angeles scientist has taught a 2 year old goldfish various tricks that he can perform in his tank. Using similar techniques to those used to train Dolphins the scientist has taught the goldfish to move tiny balls, swim through tubes and weave between slalom poles. The doctor said that goldfish are much more intelligent than people give them credit for.
|
Virgin
Atlantic airlines are helping develop aviation fuel made from seaweed
which is a type of Algae. This type of fuel source is unbelievably
"Green" because it has rapid growth being able to double in size
in a few hours, does not need any land space, will grow well in poor
quality water and can produce up to 15 times the quantity of oil per given
area than other alternatives such as Soya or Palm oil. It even cleans some
of the impurities out of the water as it grows.
One
of the bodies that is concerned with drugs abuse in sports is considering
whether to ban Viagra and the similar drug called Cailis. It seems that
their stimulant effects on the blood supply to muscles may be beneficial
from a performance point of view. (That is performance in track
events.) If they decide to ban Viagra it should not be difficult to
develop a test to tell if a man has taken it!
A dog that inherited £6 million
pounds from the death of its billionaire owner has had the amount slashed
by £5 million after a claim made by the deceased's family who would have
inherited nothing. They contested the will on the grounds that she was not
of sound mind when she made the will. 
EU
laws regarding fruit and vegetables are to be amended because they have
finally seen some sense. In an attempt to cut down on food waste less than
perfect fruit are to be allowed to be sold with 26 of the 36 directives
concerning fresh fruit and vegetables to be abolished. A spokesman said,
"It's been rather silly."
The
word "Brainstorming" has been banned by one council at meetings
in case it offends anyone with health problems. Instead the phrase will be
replaced by "Thought Showers."
A
taxi driver picked up a fare in Dorset around lunchtime and dropped the
elderly man off at his destination, but it was several hours later before
he discovered that a carrier bag had been left in his cab by the old man.
The driver thought nothing of it as he often found things that had been
forgotten by passengers. However, when he looked in the bag he got a
surprise because he found a checkbook and £9,000 in used notes. The owner
had given up hope of getting the money back so when the driver handed it
over he gave him a generous reward.
Children
are particularly susceptible to placebos, so one manufacturer has decided
to launch a new sugary, chewy pill aimed at children who need a
little reassurance when they are unhappy because of minor problems. Some
parents say that hugs and kisses are a much better idea than putting more
sugar into their children and giving them the idea that medications are
the answer when anything goes wrong. The pills are called Obecalp which is
simply placebo spelt backwards. Surely the "smart alec" kids of
today are not going to be fooled for long by this name?
A
Blackburn shopkeeper has had hundreds of pounds of novelty banknotes
seized by council trading standards officers. The £10, £20 and £50
notes featured pictures of;- Dr Who, David Beckham, Winnie the Pooh,
Elvis and the Beatles amongst others, in place of the Queens head on the
notes. At 4 notes for £1 the shopkeeper said it was political correctness
gone mad, but Trading standards officers insisted the notes could be
mistaken for real money and said it was a breach of the law to re-produce
bank notes without the permission of the Bank of England. They were
destroyed and the police were making further inquiries.